shake your steamed cherries

Murder, She Wrote

2011-04-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

Think before you kill your dreams with doubts.

There is little more tragic than seeing dreams die before they are even given the chance to materialize. Don't be the murderer of dreams, your own or other people's.

Remember, it always starts with a simple spark of faith. Believe!

xx

Date a Girl Who Reads

2011-02-28T06:45:00.000-08:00

Date A Girl Who Reads by Rosemarie Urquico

(In Response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date An Illiterate Girl.)

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

This is Goodbye

2011-02-25T05:36:00.000-08:00

I think I have decided to go back to my old ways.

Everything was perfect then. Everything was pretend.

From now on, you will no longer see me. From now on the only thing that you will see when you look at me is what ever you want to see or nothing at all.

I'm partly sorry but we only do what we must. We only do what we need to do in order to survive. I cannot survive you, therefore I must let you go. I will let you go like how one severes a rotting limb. The pain will be unimaginable I suppose but the important thing is that I will live. The me who dreams in technicolored frenzy will survive and move on.

I will leave you slowly, like snow melting under the sunlight. And you will never know. All you will have left is a puddle of faded memories and a false reflection.

I love you. Be well. And my goodbye begins.

xoxo

.

2011-02-15T07:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes
I wonder
What would it be
Like
When I'm gone
Loved ones
Would grieve for a time
I suppose
The wheel would make
A polite pause
And
Then continue spinning
Again

Then I shall be
Nothing
But
A dream
A
Grain of sand
Lost forever at
Sea.

Hello, hello

2011-02-15T07:39:00.001-08:00

Hello stranger,
It's been a while. I ran across your thoughts today and it reminded me why I had started this to begin with. We're virtual strangers, you see. But in you I see fragments of me; broken sharp shards like your words. Sharp and poignant but never meaning to hurt or bruise.

Hello, I just wanted to say I miss you. Of course that's not silly! I come to your space in hopes of finding the pieces of me I have seem to lost; that a peak inside your world will remind me of how mine looks and feels... You always said you didn't care but i think you did. You did because you wouldn't have said anything otherwise. Then again I migut be wrong... If you cared you'd still be here.

I miss you, you know. I hope you found whatever it was you were looking for. I hope this makes its way to you. I hope you are happy.

Xoxo

After A While

2010-10-13T23:53:00.000-07:00

After A While

Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn

the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn

that love doesn’t mean leaning

and company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn

that kisses aren’t contracts

and presents aren’t promises

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of woman,

not the grief of a child

and you learn

to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is

too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down

in mid-flight.

After a while you learn

that even sunshine burns

if you get too much

so you plant your own garden

and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone

to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

you really are strong

you really do have worth

and you learn

with every goodbye, you learn…

through the looking glass

2010-08-23T00:42:00.001-07:00

She
looks at you
with eyes that dare
provoke
question

She
dares you to look
past beyond what you see
provoke your inner senses
question your reality

Is she really
what
you think you see?
What do you
see?

history 101

2010-08-15T11:14:00.001-07:00

They were seatmates in history of art.

It was the first time she saw him.

Probably a senior, she thought.

The only conversation they ever had was when he came late and asked if he missed anything important.

she wanted to say: me!

One of the things she observed about him though was his unhealthy obsession with his headphones (Dr.Dre, total music junkie, she concluded).

He was never without it, like its an extension of his body.

When the professor wasn't talking, it was always glued to his ears.

So out of boredom, she developed an unhealthy habit of talking to herself. Out loud. In front of him.

Well technically, beside him, but lets not get picky here.

Besides, its not as if he hears.

So one time, she was saying something about him being too ...

Did his face just twitch?

She just dismissed it as maybe his ear phones had a glitch. (serves him right! she thought.)

But before she left at the end of the class,

he called her name.

Maybe she should stop living off energy drinks to stay awake. It didn't say it included hallucinations as a side effect...

"Hey, for the record, I'm not gay. And I actually do like rock music too. There's a cool band playing on the fifth and I've got two tickets.

Her face remained puzzled

"Huh?" was all she managed to say.

Great, how intelligible.

Yes this is me asking you out. Is that you saying yes?

Sunday Afternoon Nostalgia

2010-08-15T01:39:00.000-07:00

The weather reminded me of you today, and feelings I thought were long forgotten.

Sunday afternoons were one of my favorites then. Only because Sunday meant tomorrow is Monday (and as much as I cringe at the memory), Monday was my favorite day. Monday meant the start of the 5 days I get to see you after the day is through. Week by week, you made me fall in love, in tears, in small smiles, in the giddy feeling a mere sight of you gives. I just could not get enough.

But life continues and we move on. My fixation for you slowly diminished. Every once in a while I would still hear something about you, and I would always still smile of fondness. Your memories now remind me of how easy it is to fall in love with an idea. For that was really all there was. It was not really you that I fell in love with, but the idea of you that I have in my head. I guess I can always credit my folly to my youth and vanity. But I refuse to write you off as a mere illusion nor taint your memory with regret. The you that I fell in love with might only be born out of my ideals, but it doesn't make how I felt any less real.

It is so deceivingly easy to mistake infatuation and severe fondness for love. But I guess if I can still remember the feelings I felt towards you then as sharply as I do now, maybe, just maybe, it might have been love after all...

ALOHA!

2010-04-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

By next week, I would be flying to Osaka to stay with my family for a month. Lately, I've been busy with tying loose ends to ensure everything is well before I leave. Getting the pieces I need for spring, seeing all of my friends (a lot of whom I haven't seen in a while), and sadly, leaving my job permanently.

I believe we get in life what we have the courage to ask for. Sometimes though, we are required to make a decision to choose which we want more; occasionally, we come to a point in our lives where we question ourselves what we are willing to sacrifice in order to achieve our desires.

As I bid my company farewell, I welcome with open arms Osaka and the new adventure that awaits!

So farewell, HIP; Hello, Osaka!

Just Do It :)

2009-12-18T00:12:00.000-08:00

clickety click: who do you think you are?

My results:

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

hushhh!

2009-12-14T03:46:00.000-08:00

i wish i was blind sometimes
or deaf
then maybe it would spare me
from the sights i would rather not see
or words i would rather not hear
i value i have the gift of senses
but sometimes, just sometimes,
the promise of blissful ignorance
is oh so tempting

have you ever accidentally stumbled upon something
which you wish you didn't?
only, its too late too turn back
your curiosity is already one step ahead of you
and before you even realize,
Pandora's box has already been opened.

"curiosity killed the cat, but the cat has nine lives"

on repeat: vanilla twilight

2009-12-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

So my friend Jak recommended Owl City to me way back

but it took time before he grew on me.

So now after browsing Owl City's discography,

here's what caught my ears:

off the same album as Fireflies, Ocean Eyes:

Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,

The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

(these are the lyrics which caught my ears

and made me look at the title of the song from iTunes

cheesy ain't it?)

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

THE BABE BIRTHDAY BASH

2009-11-30T23:53:00.000-08:00

birthday babes

missing V

the birthday babes eds, chowie and ikay with doll face kate and kaye

with shobe jinice whom we miss dearly

i love how my friends got together :)

red drum missing pirate, zero and spin

missing bienie and manage

that night we gorged on

almond financiers, hazelnut truffle tarts, and

red velvet and chai latte cupcakes

white cheese and mozzarella pizza

and got started on vodka and bacardi 151

got welcomed by absinthe

got high on patron tequila

finished with grey goose

received some interesting presents

which deserve a post of their own ;)

thanks to the boys and bitches that came

i had a sinfully good time ;)

HAPPY!

2009-11-26T17:46:00.000-08:00

HAPPY! maiden issue 2009

Guess who's in it?

click picture for a bigger image

the 411:

1. Full Name: Edellyn Villegas Amba

2. Nickname: Eds

3. Occupation: Artist

4. Age: 21

5. Did you always have this full figure?

Yes, right off the bat when puberty hit, haha.

6. What was your childhood like with this figure?

It felt like I was waiting for my normal body parts to arrive. I think everybody feels like that during puberty. Adapting to the physical changes is already a challenge but suddenly having enhanced curves in certain areas is,well, something else all together. When it came to choosing clothes, it helped that my mum was fashion conscious and provided me with tips but then, my mum was not full figured so her tips can only help as much. Reading teen magazines helped, too. It taught me other guidelines that I needed to know. But in the end, my mum's tips and magazines only gave me a general idea. It still boils down to using those tips as a base and giving them your own personal flavor to to develop one's personal style.

7. What challenges did you go through given this body type - with friends, finding what to wear, boys... etc.

When I was younger, everybody basically followed the low rise jeans + baby tee formula. Which, needless to say, did not fit my body type at all! That's what made me realize that I shouldn't just follow what everybody else is wearing. Another thing that that made me realize was how hard it actually was to find a good fitting pair of jeans. Thankfully boot cuts were making it back in the scene again, too.

I've always love shopping, so entering my teens was a great excuse to do more of that. It proved a bit tedious though, as the clothes and trends then leaned more towards the slim and petite. I couldn't wear most of them as it fitted me differently, thus the look didn't really come out as I imagined. It often left me frustrated and wishing I had less curves. But as I grew, observation taught me that Filipinas are naturally curvy, and I'm glad that the industry has finally acknowledged that by giving us more options. I'm so proud of how much our fashion industry has broadened since then.

8. How and what made you realize that having a voluptuous body is actually a blessing?

I think the appreciation comes as you mature. When I was younger, I used to consider it as my curse of curves. I just wanted none of it or as little of it as possible. I was still in the process of getting acquainted with my curves then, and figuring out how to 'deal' with them when my friends and I started going out to party. We'd always get dressed and made up in my room and occasionally trade clothes. Then the same thing occurred, only in reverse. My clothes fitted them differently, too. Then they voiced out that they wish they had the curves to fill out the dress like I do. That's when i finally saw the light and thought that 'hey,maybe this isn't so bad after all, no scratch that, this is actually kind of great!'

9. Any words of advice/wisdom for other girls with the same body type.

Embrace it. There's no other way to go about it. A curse, a blessing, perspective is relative. Its not what you have but what you do with it. Plus, how many women go through surgeries just to get what you naturally have? As a movie aptly put, real women have curves.

10. Describe your signature style.

Generally my style is eclectic, occasionally eccentric. It also depends on my mood and where I'm going. One rule I now follow though is the rule of opposites; boy meets girl, casual chic; Always match something flowy with something tailored. Complete this formula with chunky accessories and beautiful shoes. Don't leave home without it.

11. Who are you favorite style celebrities and why? Give one or two.

Top of mind comes Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. They're such guilty pleasures. They have different tastes but I can relate to both of them. They're one of the perfect examples of my style philosophy. I love how they create hybrid styles like mixing rock and roll with boho chic. Although they're fraternal twins, their style is one of the elements that instantly establishes them as individuals.

Another guilty pleasure would be Harajuku girls. And by Harajuku girls, I mean real, uber stylish girls that prowl the streets of Harajuku. They inspire me to be bold and different. Through them, I realized that fashion should be fun and expressive, inspiring even!

xo,

eds <3

It

2009-11-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying I Love You.

Fully, and with all honesty.

I say this as more than a part of our usual exchanges, casually thrown with such ease, but with heartfelt sincerity. Without you, I would be a far different person from who I am now, maybe even less.

That is why I feel that I owe you my honesty.

I feel disconnected to you lately. Cold. I would not use the "its not you, its me" (or vice versa) cliche, I have to much respect for it than that. Yes, it. Because we are more than you and me, but less than us. So I shall settle with it.

To say that I do not miss you would be a terrible lie. Whether we like it or not, we are a part of each other. Your presence is enough to make me feel that someday, I can be great, I am great. You challenge me and inspire me to be better. You remind me that the highest hurdle is the present me. And in order to succeed, I must surpass whoever I am today. Together, we are a force to be reckoned with, not invincible, but close enough. Together, we can conquer the universe.

I've been in a dilemma for 11 months now. 317 agonizing days of arguing with myself. Its been a tricky push-pull, on again, off again kind of thing, and I think the elastics holding me together is just about to snap and my bulb is just about to burn out. One month short of a year was enough to teach me that things happen, shit happens, it happens. Whether we mean for it to happen or not, the point still is, it has already happened and sometimes, we just can't help how we feel. I spend eleven months too long being apologetic for it. So now, I shall relish this moment, even just this once, to be honest with myself about how I feel towards it, towards everything.

Would feeling this way towards it make me a bad person? Would being just a little less apologetic for it make me worse? I don't know. But I do know one thing: that this is how I honestly feel.

I wanted to feel numb all this time. Ignoring the small, petty things, the slightly bigger ones that should matter, shoving them into one big "Forget File" I store at the dark, dark corners of my mind. It put up a fight, but I shoved it there until the pain, until everything, was swept under the rug. Then I waited, waited for the darkness to consume it until what remained was nothing more than a dull thudding ache.

I couldn't name it at first, counldn't fully talk about it without being vague. I feared that acknowledging it would only breathe into life the monsters in my head. And saying it out loud would only affirm its existence.

In the midst of my musing over this blog though, and alternately juggling it with my other accounts, it seems like the universe heard, and it has answered, and the medium? Need you even ask?

Facebook says: "you can't change the past, but you can change the way you feel about it"

I guess that made sense. I've always believed that instead of grieving for the things you cannot change, strive to improve the things you can. So instead of grieving for things that were and things that never were, I will just smile. Smile and love.

I believe, there is no such word as loved. Once you love something, you'll always love it, else, it was not love to begin with. Love is infinite, it can transform and evolve but not run out. Never run out. If you find yourself out of love, better check your pulse. Just to be sure.

I feel the only right way to end this entry is by saying

I Love You.

Through and through.

Maybe a little different than how I did before, but the fact is, I still do.

burning out

2009-10-29T00:50:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna take a step back, but I'm running on emptiness. We're just no longer on the same track and it's killing me in every way.

You take me in; shut me out, you're breaking me down. Tell me that I'm the one but I see through your lies. It's all misleading, you keep me bleeding, it's like I'm burning out, burning out.

You're making me feel so alone. Baby just let me let go cause I just can't escape your ghost. The fire you started once is now burning out, burning out.

I'm burning out, burning out
I just fade away
We're burning out, burning out
We keep for burning out, burning out

I can't find myself leaving. And it hurts with every breath I take that I will never know the feeling of you loving me the same way.

Have you ever even noticed all the pain when you look into my eyes? Tell me, have you ever even thought about that I'm burning, I'm burning out

You're making me feel so alone. Baby just let me let go cause I just can't escape your ghost

The fire you started once is now burning out

Burning out; Tata Young

Make me stop listening to this song!

dearest alex

2009-10-29T00:07:00.000-07:00

(Alexander McQueen Fall 08)

(Alexander Mc Queen 10-inch high heels)

Dearest Alexander,

Once upon a time, I loved you.

When you spun dreams of tulle not tragedy.

Where hast my Indian princesses donning ball gowns in winter gone?

What happened to their bejeweled feet?

Now all I am left with are elephant feet and wistful memories

With a broken heart, i bid thee farewell

in hopes that spring/summer shall ressurect my love for you.

in the mean time, yours truly is smitten with another Alexander
with the same initials as fall/winter.

word vomit

2009-10-21T11:10:00.001-07:00

harsh words
and negative gossips
are like vomit
you can never swallow it back

disco.nnection.no.tice

2009-10-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

Maybe its the sound of the rain softly pelting against the window.
Maybe its the way the chandelier bathed everything in a warm glow,
sharply contrasting against the chill brought by the weather.
Or maybe, its cause of something I saw which I just wish I didn't
coupled with this stupid song I have on repeat.

The grass withers

and the tears of the sky turn to ice

as our paths intertwine.

I tread carefully upon the floe,

Careful not to disrupt its fragile surface.

Underneath, the river's water rage.

On tipped toes, I danced around you.

A ballerina's routine.

Calm, composed, calculated.

The music mutes the audience

that comprises only of you

One drop and the spell is broken

Sometimes I want to just do as I please just to spite you.
But the thing is, I love you too much for that.

golden honey

2009-10-06T23:10:00.000-07:00

Everybody knows that girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

But once upon a time,there was a spice shortage in girly land. So they had to make do and just added more everything nice and a jar of honey for that batch.

And out of that batch, came one little girl named Gold.

And no other name could've suited her more.

This Gold is not the luxurious kind of gold, encrusting precious stones and gems.This Gold is more like honey, all rich and warm.

The kind of honey you put on your tea or drizzle generously on your pancakes on bright, sunshine-y mornings. The kind of Gold no sweet tooth like me can ever resist.

So when she asked for my help to pick out a dress for her brother's wedding I was only too happy to oblige. :)

Don't fret, precious: "Am i really wearing this?"

Meet Gold, or Goldie, to me and Dalton.She really wanted to be pretty for her brother's wedding. So we opted for a dress :)

"My first dress in a long while"

Receiving gratitude from another person is always a wonderful reward.But getting to see her eyes light up when we found the perfect dress was another high all together.

Gold with her now sister - in - law
getting prepped up for the wedding.
photo credits: Shaira Luna

Having the opportunity of helping a genuinely nice person like Gold gave me a glimpse of what it must feel like to be a fairy godmother.

Dust Gatherers

2009-09-30T00:19:00.000-07:00

Forgetfulness

Forgetfulness and selfishness.

I think the problem with people is that they tend to forget. They forget and yet are too selfish for their own good.

Why do people always feel the incessant, needless urge to to stake claim? Why must we label the things we enjoy, cherish, adore, lust after, the things that make us happy as ours? Can we not find contentment in having to have experienced it?

Everything in this world is temporary and borrowed; but most of the time, we forget. We forget because we are too preoccupied with scheming and planning on how we make it ours and stake claim.

But after that, then what?

Another stripe

Another notch on the bedpost

Another frame on the wall.

Then you move on, another conquest awaits.

And the apple of your eye then turn into just another dust gatherer, waiting, lurking, in the dark corners of your room.

cotton candy crush

2009-09-28T19:23:00.001-07:00

I Love Candy by 88blackrose88

Sometimes crushes are like cotton candy - they look yummy and totally tempting,
but when you actually got a taste, there's not much there.
Suddenly, you're left with disappointment and no crush.
Sometimes, a crush should stay a crush, and live as a delicious daydream.
That way, you'll always have someone to think about as you drift off to sleep...

sketch

2009-09-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

There is no means of testing which decision is better,
because there is no basis for comparison.
We live everything as it comes, without warning,
like an actor growing on cold.
And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself?
That is why life is always like a sketch.
No, "sketch" is not quite the word,
because a sketch is an outline of something,
the groundwork for a picture,
whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing,
an outline with no picture.

- an excerpt from Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being

erase, rewind/forward

2009-09-14T22:12:00.000-07:00

"There is a way to be good again."
- The Kite Runner

It was during my senior year when I first heard about The Kite Runner. A friend's sister commented on a poem I wrote asking if it was from the novel. I watched it last weekend and finally understood why she asked such about my poem. (which I shall post after i grab it from my former blog)

It was almost like another take on Cain and Abel, but I shall save the movie review for another post. For now, the movie was a nice reminder that we might not be able to erase the mistakes we have committed in the past, but we can always start anew and correct them.

On the opposite coast of sadness

2009-09-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

Only Human

Lyrics: Osanai Mai Translation: Jonathan Wu

On the opposite coast of sadness
is something called a smile

On the opposite coast of sadness
is something called a smile
But before we can go there,
is there something we’re waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams, we can’t have a reason to run away
We’ve got to go, to that far away summer’s day

If we find it tomorrow, we can’t sigh
Because like a boat that opposes the stream
we have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness
something called a miracle, is waiting
Yet we are still searching
for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light
before he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing
just go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds break
the wet streets sparkling
Although it brings only darkness
A powerful, powerful light
helps push us to walk on

i stumbled upon this music video today

by a japanese artist named K.

the lyrics are very poetic

and creates dream like images in my head.

K's voice is filled with a sadness that is haunting,

i couldn't help gravitate towards it.

and my sad song addiction continues

8 years and 3 months to go or why life begins at 30

2009-09-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30

By 30, you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that
do get better.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30.

SOURCE: glamour.com/magazine

Au Revoir, Aout

2009-09-02T03:49:00.000-07:00

Dearest August,

You came and went.

You took along with you a lolo and a friend.

You came in and gave me good byes,

but you brought along some new beginnings, too.

Is this what you're teaching me, August, independence and letting go?

Thank you for being generous enough to throw in some courage, too.

I needed that.

Now that you've passed and left me at September's hands,

would it be such a bother to ask for a bit more Courage... or maybe lots, if you can help it.

xo,

Eds

a secret about a secret

2009-08-24T02:24:00.000-07:00

Photograph by: Inez van Lam Sweerde

a photograph

is a secret

about a secret

the more it tells you,

the less you know

- Diane Arbus

Aloha: Is it Hello? Is it Goodbye?

2009-08-21T00:28:00.000-07:00

Vector - Maaya Sakamoto

If you'd rather be somewhere
that's not here
then you just gotta tell me
Cause there's so much more to life,
than pretending

It takes Courage, courage to be honest to others,and more importantly to ourselves.
Just as it takes courage to take responsibility and to move forward.

We are responsible for our own happiness.
We are responsible for our action, our words, and thoughts.
Are we, however, consequently responsible
for the indirect byproducts of our deeds?
and if such, does that then
partially place in our hands
the happiness of others?

The Continental Drift Theory

2009-08-18T19:01:00.000-07:00

Photographer: Mark Squires

According to the Continental Drift Theory by Alfred Wagener, the earth's continents were once joined in a super continent called Pangaea (all earth). Over a vast period of time, the super continent started to break apart, and drift from each other, thus creating the seven continents we now have.

People in a way are like continents, and friendships or maybe relationships in general, experience something like a continental drift.

Tides apart, you are Asia, and I, Oceania.

The only thing worse that deafening silence is awkward small talk - H.Reina

Photographer: Steve Meisel for W magazine

The said cause of the drift was the expansion of the ocean floor which resulted in the movement of tectonic plates. The continents that existed on the plates then started to break and drift apart as a result of the changing ocean floor. The movement of tectonic plates then caused earthquakes on continents. To this day, certain parts of the continents continue to manifest tiny, barely noticeable movements.

Like the earth, people adapt and change; forged by time, by fate, by the universe. They cope, recover and move on; and if they're strong enough, transcend.

There were no earth shattering arguments, no eruptions of temper. Awkward attempts at small talk in the dark now replace our wordless conversations of mutual understanding. I would have preferred silence to seep in to fill the void laughter left. It would've broken my heart less.

We were carried away by the same tides that brought us together. I would swim to you more than half way through, but it seems like my limbs have forgotten how. Now, I find solace at the thought that we are still connected by the same tides that separate us.

Photographer: Bruno Dayan

The Continental Drift Theory was not widely accepted till the 1960s when fossils found mainly from the outskirts of continents show the same species. Mineral specimens along the supposed break lines were nearly identical as well further proving the theory that it was once part of a whole.

Even after relationships wane, people leave imprints on other people's lives; or at least one can hope as much. A memory is not just a date or a place, its a feeling, a part of yourself that you choose to share with another. A memory is a part of two persons joined then equally shared. May it be tears of triumph or anguish, a burden shared and surpassed, or even something simple as a shared secret smile, a part of it remains with you, and part of it, with the other.

Our shores have drifted far apart, yet the waves that hug yours and mine are the same. Your shore and mine are of the same sand, and above us is one sky.

Another idea is that the continents are again moving towards each other. The tiny, barely noticeable movements the continents are now making shall someday lead to the reunion of the continents and thus, Pangaea shall be reborn.

People in a way are like continents, constantly changing, evolving with time, and always under construction. They break, drift and heal.

People in a way are like continents, and friendships or maybe relationships in general, experience something like a continental drift. They slowly, maybe unconsciously drift apart, experience unstable grounds, get shaken by earth quakes and just as slowly as they drifted apart, find their way back and share the same shores.

As the warm water gently laps at my feet, I pray yours are as warm and inviting. We shall weather each quake, each storm, together and apart. And I shall wait patiently for the tide that brought us together and the tide that now separate us to be the very same tide to reunite us someday.

juvies go high

2009-08-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

on fashion that is...

Juvenile Encounter's Hiroko Hoshino and Mizuki Tsukino

pose for couture power house Yves Saint Laurant

and design world's darling Alexander Wang

"Yves Saint Laurant is my mum's favorite brand.",

underground fashion guru Hiroko Hoshino fondly recalls.

"So this is really a big pleasure.

Also, I am totally head over heels for the YSL tribute boots, so I'm really all for this!"

Alexander Wang is all about the M.O.D. (Model Off-Duty) appeal,

with a certain urban, nonchalant coolness.

And indie band Mugendai lead vocalist Mizuki Tsukino is just that

with a kick of rock and roll.

Author's Note:

a series born out of part boredom, part lust

for alexander wang and the YSL tribute boots

the constrained space of the square note pad that i drew on

taught me how to work with what is given.

in the end, it gave me poses that i actually love :)

sometimes, boundaries help you transcend.

p.s.

stay posted for the other half ;)

of dragons and heartbreakers: a birthday shout out

2009-08-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

생일축하합니다

saengil chukha hamnida

my dearest kwon, ji yong

congratulations on your first solo album!

cant wait to get my hands on your tracks

and can i just say,

heartbreaker you've got the best of me

but i just keep on coming back incessantly

cause you're so disarming

i'm caught up in the midst of you

and i could not resist at all

its a shame to be so euphoric and weak

when you smile at me

jacket shoot is soooo

WICKED!!!

and and and,

you're gracing the cover of one of my favorite magazines!!!

now, how to get my hands on the september issue of nylon korea...

also, how cool is it that one of my favorite stylists in the industry

also listen to big bang?

WICKED COOL!!!

photo credits: www.allkpop.com

An Affair to Remember

2009-07-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of the two days any 9-5 (well, 7 in my case) worker bee looks forward to every month. Yep, payday! So to treat myself but still not break my anti-splurging rule, (cause somebody got carried away last time buying 3 pairs of shoes,) I decided to visit Book Sale at the local mall near my office. I treated myself to an issue of Nylon which surprisingly came dirt cheap, and two issues of Vogue which featured two of the actresses I like, the juicy Blake Lively and the sensuous Rachel Weisz.

Blake Lively for American Vogue

Photographed by: Steve Meisel

I've only browsed the American Vogue so far which I got only because I stumbled upon the issue's fashion spread which had this:

(I got reprimanded the other day for wearing shorts to work.

One of these days I'm gonna knock their socks of by wearing something like this to work.

Ah, shall reserve further rant for another post)

But before I further get side tracked, what prompted this entry is an article called "An Affair to Remember" which was an article about life after divorce. It was almost like a classic case of a break up, with a third party involved, but less cruel and more romantic (if there is such a thing) than the average everyday infidelity case.

Well, without further ado, I bring to you some excerpts:

"I think he fell in love with someone better suited to him and went for it. it was a bold move. Brazen. Who leaves their family? Who leaves their perfectly nice, perfectly smart mother of his children? Who dares to break the norm? It broke apart our family. It ruined happiness."

"It was painfully easy to see when your husband is in love with someone else. One day in late September I caught them having tea and discussing her work. Though they weren't lying naked in bed, there was an undeniable intimacy between them. "

"I'm sorry, he said. He looked at me, and it was that look. The look of someone who is hurting you, but who also loves you. Its the look that keeps me from hating him even though that's what you're supposed to do when your husband leaves you. I just think life is complicated and people are so different and incomprehensible. He didn't want to hurt me, he didn't want to hurt the children, but he was doing it anyway for reasons I still don't fully understand. "

"I believe in love. I believe in hard times and love winning. I believe marriage is hard. I believe people make mistakes. I believe people can make two things at once. I believe people are selfish and generous at the same time. I believe very few people want to hurt others. I believe that life can surprise you. I believe in happy endings. "

"When you have children and your husband leaves you, two things happen: You become a mess and the strongest woman alive at the same time."

What the author went through gave me the image of painstakingly building a tower of cards, only for it to be tumbled down by a friendly gust of wind. Life is unpredictable like that. But what matters is not how long it takes for you to put the tower of cards back together but the willingness to do it all over again.

In the end, after struggling for acceptance, the author found happiness in the form of another divorcee and made a new life. She, together with her two sons from her first marriage and her new spouse and his daughter make a family of five. To this day, the author remains in good terms with her husband and his new spouse.

Just like Love, Forgiveness can happen and people move on. Every house is a universe, and a family, a new culture all on its own.

And before I end this post, I shall impart you with these thoughts:

"I'd rather light a candle than curse the darkness"

-Adlai Stevenson

chilled to the bones

2009-07-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

(aren't these gorgeous?)

"Sticks and stones are hard on bones, aimed with angry art,
words can sting like anything but silence breaks the heart."

-- Phyllis McGinley

The Ferry and The Traveler

2009-07-27T23:35:00.000-07:00

The Ferry and Traveler
Manhae Han Yong-un 1879~1944

I am the ferry
You are the traveler

You tread on me with muddy feet
I embrace you and cross the waters
I embrace you and cross the deep, shallow, and
raging torrents

If you do not come, I will face the winds and bear the
snow and rain waiting for you from night ‘til morn

If you cross the waters, you won’t even glance back
at me and go,
But I know that you will come some day
While I wait for you, day by day, I grow
older

I am the ferry
You are the traveler

Noir et Blanc: Kate Lanphear's Fashion Zen

2009-07-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

Now tell me, what's not to love?

Almost Lover

2009-07-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never let forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

the key to my heart

2009-07-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

Featured Artist of the Month: Rob Ryan of Rob-Ryan

(click to view larger)

Keys

Paper Cut outs by: Rob Ryan

the key to my heart forgives and trusts

the key to my heart does not judge or hate

the key to my heart has hope that is indestructible

the key to my heart lies asleep, buried deep dreaming of you

the key to my heart will one day be used

but only by you.

Another artist I discovered while blog surfing over breakfast with Dalton. (I find that this has been one of my current addictions. Dalton swears she can just do this all day.) I love how his works can come across as intricate yet simple. The words written on each artwork are straight forward and poignant, creating a beautiful contrast with the silhouettes.

His artworks bring me a feeling of nostalgia and remind me of 'old school' romance. Definitely one of my current inspirations :)

An example of his more intricate works:

(click to view larger)

Big Night

Paper Cut outs by: Rob Ryan

W e don't fly north, we don't fly south.

We stay put right here, year in - year out!

the seasons change faster

and the months go by quicker

i'll keep watch over you

and i know that you'll keep watch over me.

the adventures of ickle and lardee

2009-07-15T19:59:00.000-07:00

Featured Artist of the Month: Inhae Lee of My Milk Toof

I walked past Dalton's desk one day while on my way to the pantry when I noticed her squealing (yes, she really was) over something. The next thing i know, she was showing me this:

Lardee's teeth

Ickle, meet Lardee

Photos and Sculptures By: Inhae Lee

I thought it really was cute, but at the same time i didn't know what to make of it. One picture story later, i came to the conclusion that they 'sort of' look like teeth. Which they were, apparently XD milk teeth,to be exact.

Favorite Ickle and Lardee Photos:

to infinity and beyond! oops, wrong cartoon...

i adore outer space themes :)

another theme that i adore, SUMMER!

I'm already looking forward to more adventures to come. If you wanna follow Ickle and Lardee's adventure, click on my milk toof under my artlist tags :)

the product of stress

2009-07-14T01:39:00.000-07:00

my previous boss called me today and i didn't have the guts to answer. i no longer officially work for him, i still do some freelance jobs for him occasionally. though he's no longer my boss, i can't help but feel pressured whenever i receive a call or text from him. probably because i can still see his face and hear his no-bullshit voice speaking in my head.

when i feel stressed, i feel the need to preoccupy myself with something, and that 'something' eventually led to his:

prim and purple

abobe photoshop cs4

this is for my friend S,

who i think needs some cheering up.

the boyf formula (rocker edition)

2009-07-13T00:01:00.001-07:00

was bored outta my head today at the office and most sites are fire walled, so...

in cases like these, lj and style arena are my best friends.

less lj though cause style arena looks more 'work related' than spakly, shiny boy bands

(i swear i'd slash my wrists if they block these, too)

so anyways, i bring you this cute japanese boy:

big bad bag

(i dig this guy's man purse)

a wicked pair of zip up boots

leather biker jacket

the i just - rolled - outta - bed hair

dig his facial expression, too :)

i wish boys like these ran rampant in manila

but then again, they'd lose their charm

for me atleast ;)

p.s. what is with the schizo weather today?

Shoe Sex

2009-07-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

NEW FACE OF GIVENCHY, LEONOR SCHERRER,
backstage at the Givenchy Haute Couture Show.

“I’m completely in love with her. For me, she represents France in all senses: the elegance, the aristocracy, the darkness of France.

-RICCARDO TISCI

under the knife

2009-07-09T04:55:00.001-07:00

so, which do you think suit me best? haha

playing around with mac photo booth

The Velveteen Rabbit

2009-07-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

The Velveteen Rabbit
an excerpt
by: Margery Williamson

"What is real?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room.

"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?"

"Real isn't how you're made," said the Skin Horse. "Its a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with but really loves you, then you become real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are real, you don't mind being hurt."

...Once you are Real you can't be ugly, except for people who don't understand

It's Friday, I'm In Love

2009-07-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

Missing friday lunch dates...

Friday Lunch Bunch by: Moi

markers on graphing paper

I don't care if Monday's black

Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack

Thursday never looking back

It's Friday, I'm in love

- THE CURE

When i was still a student,

I didn't see why there was something to be thankful about Fridays.

Saturdays are so much better.

But now that I'm working,

waking up on a Friday feels like getting a glimpse of a finish line.

After running a week's worth of work,

Friday is the finish line and the upcoming weekend is always the reward.

Au revoir Ete, Bonjour Saison des Pluies!

2009-06-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

T & E

Kiss your kismet summer Au Revoire~

We'll always have this Summer :)

p.s. ever wonder why mac-whoring is so damn addictive?

PARTIED AND HUNG

2009-06-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

here is a very, very good advice:
never ever drink: cuervo + gilbey's green tea + bacardi + absolut + patron tequila
all in one night
else, you will find yourself hung over the following morning
and singing this song all day the following day:

ooh, and is that chelsea from girlicious i spy? apparently, it is! i have a soft spot for that girl...

Where Does the Good Go?

2009-06-28T00:15:00.000-07:00

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love is like our love
Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen

PU.RE.ZEN.TO

2009-06-25T10:45:00.000-07:00

how long does the present last?

how can we say that we live in the present?

how long does the present last?

if remembering means living in the past

and dreaming means living in the future,

is there anyone left in the present?

then nobody can ever really live in the present, i suppose.

we can live in memories, in dreams

i guess we live in the present through moments.

live for the moment.

About the Author

2009-06-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

SUMMER is her permanent one time lover
ART is her religion
FASHION is her politics
MUSIC is her hot.hot.sex.